What a 12-step program is, and how to find a meeting in Bergen County
A 12-step program is a free, peer-run fellowship where people with the same problem meet, share their experience and work through twelve spiritual principles together. The Twelve Steps come from Alcoholics Anonymous, whose basic text was first published in 1939; Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon and others adapted them. It is mutual help, not treatment.
What do the twelve steps ask of you?
The steps move from admitting the problem, through an honest look at yourself and making amends, to a daily practice of reflection and helping others.
Steps 1-3: admit the problem and accept help
- Admit you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable.
- Come to believe that a power greater than yourself can restore you.
- Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God, as you understand God.
Steps 4-7: take an honest inventory
- Make a searching, fearless moral inventory of yourself.
- Admit the exact nature of your wrongs to God, to yourself and to another person.
- Become entirely ready to have these defects of character removed.
- Humbly ask for your shortcomings to be removed.
Steps 8-9: make amends
- List everyone you have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all.
- Make direct amends wherever possible, except when doing so would injure them or others.
Steps 10-12: keep practicing
- Keep taking personal inventory and promptly admit when you are wrong.
- Use prayer and meditation to improve your conscious contact with God, as you understand God.
- Carry the message to others and practice these principles in all your affairs.
Paraphrased from AA's Twelve Steps. Read the exact wording at aa.org. Al-Anon uses steps adapted nearly word for word, and NA members work the steps with a sponsor.
What happens at a 12-step meeting?
A member chairs, the group follows a format it chose itself, and people share their own experience. Meetings are listed as open or closed.
| Meeting type | Who can attend, or what happens |
|---|---|
| Open | Anyone interested in AA's program of recovery. People who are not alcoholics, family and friends included, may attend as observers. |
| Closed | AA members, or anyone with a drinking problem who has a desire to stop drinking. |
| Discussion | The chair opens with the group's format and picks a topic, often from AA literature, and members share on it. |
| Speaker | One or more members, chosen beforehand, tell what they were like, what happened and what they are like now. Often open meetings. |
| Beginners | Usually led by a member who has been sober a while, to help newcomers. Some focus on Steps One to Three. |
| Step, Tradition or Big Book | The group studies one step, tradition or chapter, often in rotation. |
Where meetings happenIn personOnlineBy phone
Source: Alcoholics Anonymous, Information about meetings and FAQ. NA and Al-Anon groups set their own formats.
Who can join, what it costs, and is it religious?
Anyone who wants to stop can join, meetings are free, and AA describes its steps as spiritual principles while staying unallied with any religious denomination.
- MembershipAA's Third Tradition: "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking." There are no age or education requirements.
- CostIt costs nothing to attend. Under the Seventh Tradition, each group pays its own way and declines outside contributions.
- ReligionAA is not allied with any religious denomination. The steps speak of God "as we understood Him", which each member defines.
- SponsorsA member who has made some progress in recovery shares that experience, one to one, with a newer member.
- AnonymityThe Eleventh Tradition asks members to keep personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films; the Twelfth calls anonymity the spiritual foundation of all the Traditions.
- Who runs itMembers. The Eighth Tradition says AA should remain forever non-professional.
Sources: aa.org, What is A.A.?, The Twelve Traditions and Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (P-15).
Do 12-step programs work?
For alcohol use disorder, a 2020 Cochrane review found that structured AA and Twelve-Step Facilitation helped more people stay continuously sober than other established treatments such as CBT.
27studies reviewed
10,565participants
- High certaintyManualized AA or Twelve-Step Facilitation compared with treatments such as CBT: more people continuously abstinent at 12 months (risk ratio 1.21; 2 trials, 1,936 people), and the effect held at 24 and 36 months.
- Low certaintyNon-manualized AA or Twelve-Step Facilitation may perform as well as other established treatments.
- Moderate certaintyAA and Twelve-Step Facilitation probably produce substantial healthcare cost savings among people with alcohol use disorder.
Kelly JF, Humphreys K, Ferri M. Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs for alcohol use disorder. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2020, CD012880. The review covers alcohol use disorder only, and mutual-help groups do not replace medical care.
AA, NA or Al-Anon: which 12-step fellowship fits?
Choose by the problem: AA for drinking, NA for drugs, Al-Anon for the family and friends of someone who drinks.
-
For drinking
Alcoholics Anonymous
Began in 1935. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
-
For drugs
Narcotics Anonymous
Grew from AA's program; its first meetings were held in the Los Angeles area in the early 1950s.
-
For families and friends
Al-Anon and Alateen
For people affected by someone else's drinking, whether or not that person seeks help. Alateen is for teenagers.
Not a 12-step program: SMART Recovery, founded in the US in 1994, is a secular, evidence-informed mutual-help alternative. It does not exclude AA or NA.
SMART RecoverySide by side
12-step fellowships and SMART Recovery
12-step fellowships
- Twelve spiritual principles, worked through together
- AA began in 1935; its basic text was first published in 1939
- Free: no dues or fees
- Led by members, not clinicians
SMART Recovery
- Not a 12-step program
- Founded in the US in 1994
- A secular, evidence-informed mutual-help alternative
- Does not exclude AA or NA; some participants attend both
Sources: aa.org, History of A.A. and The Big Book; SMART Recovery, What is SMART Recovery? and About.
Where to find 12-step meetings near Bergen County, NJ
Schedules change every week, so this page links to each fellowship's own meeting finder rather than listing meetings.
AA's free Meeting Guide app (iOS and Android) also lists meetings near you, including online and phone meetings.
Alcoholics Anonymous
- Northern New Jersey AA meeting list nnjaa.org
- Find A.A. near you aa.org
- Northern NJ AA 24-hour line: 908-687-8566
Narcotics Anonymous
- Bergen Area of Narcotics Anonymous bergenarea.org
- NA meeting search na.org
- NA New Jersey helpline: 800-992-0401 (732-933-0462 in NJ)
Al-Anon and Alateen
Lines and numbers as each organization lists them, checked 24 October 2026.
How 12-step meetings fit around life in a sober home and evening treatment
Fellowship meetings are free and run on their own schedules, so they can fit around a resident's week at NJ Sober Living.
- Days are yours: work, school or treatment, plus errands and recovery meetings.
- Evening treatment at an outside licensed program, on the schedule it sets; the house drives you there and back.
- Other evenings at home with housemates, under curfew, with an operator in the house overnight.
Questions about 12-step programs
There is no set length and no graduation. The last three steps describe a continuing practice: Step 10 is to keep taking a personal inventory and promptly admit when you are wrong. Narcotics Anonymous describes its members working the steps with a sponsor and going to meetings regularly.
AA's closed meetings are for people with a drinking problem who want to stop; its open meetings welcome anyone interested in AA's program, as observers if they are not alcoholics. If drugs are the main problem, Narcotics Anonymous is the 12-step fellowship for that. Its stated message is that any addict can stop using drugs and lose the desire to use.
Yes. Family members and close friends are welcome at open AA meetings as observers. Al-Anon is the fellowship for families and friends themselves, whether or not the person drinking seeks help, and Alateen is its fellowship for young people, mostly teenagers.
No. A 12-step group is led by its members, and AA's Eighth Tradition says it should remain non-professional, so a meeting is mutual help, not medical care. Twelve-Step Facilitation is different again: a structured treatment that clinicians deliver to help people get involved in AA. The 2020 Cochrane review studied both.
Yes. AA meetings are held in person, online and by telephone; some online groups use video and some are dial-in calls. AA's free Meeting Guide app lists phone and online meetings, and Al-Anon lists face-to-face, phone and online meetings on al-anon.org.
The Big Book is the book Alcoholics Anonymous, first published in 1939 to show other alcoholics how AA's first 100 members got sober. AA still calls it its basic text, and it has been translated into more than 70 languages.
There are other kinds of mutual help. SMART Recovery, founded in the US in 1994, describes itself as a secular, evidence-informed alternative; it says its approach differs from AA and NA but does not exclude them, and some participants attend both. For treatment rather than a meeting, SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 gives free, confidential referrals.
Looking for a sober place to live in Bergen County?
NJ Sober Living has four recovery homes in Waldwick, Old Tappan and Closter, each Class F licensed by NJ DCA, with rides to evening treatment.
Call (201) 231-1066 In danger now? Call 911. For a treatment referral, SAMHSA's National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357.Sources
- Alcoholics Anonymous, History of A.A.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, The Big Book
- Alcoholics Anonymous, The Twelve Steps
- Alcoholics Anonymous, What is A.A.?
- Alcoholics Anonymous, The Twelve Traditions
- Alcoholics Anonymous, Information about meetings
- Alcoholics Anonymous, Frequently asked questions
- Alcoholics Anonymous, Meeting Guide app
- Alcoholics Anonymous, Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (P-15)
- Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Information about NA
- Al-Anon Family Groups, What is Al-Anon and Alateen?
- Al-Anon Family Groups, The Twelve Steps
- Kelly JF, Humphreys K, Ferri M. Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs for alcohol use disorder. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2020, CD012880
- SAMHSA, National Helpline
- SMART Recovery, What is SMART Recovery?
- SMART Recovery, About: SMART Recovery vs. 12-step programs
- Meeting finders, each checked on 24 October 2026: nnjaa.org, aa.org/find-aa, bergenarea.org, na.org/meetingsearch, nj-al-anon.org, al-anon.org
Reviewed against public records on 24 October 2026. NJ Sober Living is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon or SMART Recovery.