Sober living guide
What is a typical day in sober living like?
A typical day in sober living follows a house schedule: mornings start in a shared kitchen, the daytime goes to work, school or recovery commitments, and evenings end back at the house under a curfew. On treatment nights the evening goes to outpatient treatment instead. Sober living homes, also called recovery residences, each set their own rules, so the times differ from house to house.
- Morning Up on the house schedule, then out for the day
- Daytime Work, school, a job search, treatment or meetings
- Evening Back at the house by curfew
Reviewed against public records, October 2026: N.J.A.C. 5:27, effective January 6, 2025. Sources
How does a morning in a sober living home start?
Mornings start on the house schedule: residents get up at a set time, share the kitchen, take care of a chore or a short check-in, and leave for the day.
A set wake-up time gives every day the same start, which matters when the old routine has gone. Breakfast is usually a shared-kitchen affair, with residents cooking for themselves or together. Chores often rotate on a posted list, and some sober homes hold a short check-in before housemates head out.
New to the idea? Start with what a sober living home is.
At a glance
A morning in most sober homes
- Up at the house's set timeThe same start every day.
- Breakfast in the shared kitchenResidents cook for themselves or together.
- A chore or a short check-inChore lists rotate; some homes meet briefly.
- Out the doorTo work, school, a job search, treatment or a meeting.
What do residents do during the day?
The daytime belongs to the resident within house expectations: a job, school, a job search, appointments, errands, exercise or a recovery meeting.
Many sober living homes expect residents to spend the day working, studying, looking for work or in treatment, and each house says what it expects before move-in. A full day matters as much as a quiet night: it brings back the work, money and routines that recovery has to fit around.
Getting around by day is usually the resident's own arrangement, by car, bus, train or a ride from family.
- WorkA job fills the daytime and builds a routine.
- School or trainingClasses fit the same daytime window.
- A job searchApplications and interviews are the day's work.
- Treatment and appointmentsDoctors, counseling and daytime programs.
- Recovery meetingsFellowship or mutual-help groups.
- Errands and exerciseGroceries, the gym, a walk.
What are evenings and nights like in a sober home?
Evenings bring residents back to the house: a shared dinner, a house meeting on some nights, a recovery meeting or quiet time, then curfew.
This is when shared living shows. Housemates cook, talk through the day and sit with someone who has had a hard one, because most of them have been there. Friction over dishes, noise or the TV is normal, and the house rules and the house meeting are where it gets sorted out.
Each house sets its own curfew; in our homes it is in your bedroom by 11:00 p.m. on weeknights and by midnight on weekends. In New Jersey, a cooperative sober living residence may set a reasonable curfew, but it doesn't apply while a resident is at a recovery- or employment-related activity, so a late shift or an evening meeting is allowed (N.J.A.C. 5:27-13.2).
Overnight, the same rule set calls for one of two operators to be on site from 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. whenever residents are in the house (N.J.A.C. 5:27-2.1). That is the state's general rule, so ask any home who is on site at night. All four NJ Sober Living homes are Class F licensed by the DCA, with a live-in operator and an operator on site overnight.
How do treatment nights fit into the day?
On a treatment night, a resident goes to evening outpatient treatment after the workday and comes back to the house afterward; on other nights the evening is spent at the house.
Outpatient treatment lets people keep living at home, or in a recovery home, while they attend sessions. Intensive outpatient programs offer at least 9 hours of service a week, often as three 3-hour sessions (McCarty et al., 2014). When those sessions fall in the evening, the daytime stays free for a job or school.
Side by side
A treatment night and an ordinary evening
Treatment night
- An early dinner, or one on the way
- The evening outpatient session
- Back to the house afterward
- Curfew
Other evenings
- Dinner at the house
- A house meeting, a recovery meeting or quiet time
- Time with housemates
- Curfew
More on pairing the two: evening IOP and sober living.
Which house rules shape a sober living day?
House rules set the frame of the day: staying substance-free, a curfew, chores, drug and alcohol testing, house meetings, and rules on guests and overnight stays.
In New Jersey, the rules for rooming and boarding houses, which include cooperative sober living residences, require copies of the house rules to be posted in the building and given to every resident when they move in (N.J.A.C. 5:27-3.2).
- Substance-freeNo alcohol or drugs in the house or on the resident.
- CurfewA set time to be home, outside work and recovery activities.
- ChoresA rotating list for the kitchen, bathrooms and common rooms.
- TestingDrug and alcohol tests; how and how often depends on the house.
- House meetingsA regular meeting to sort out how the house works day to day.
- Guests and overnightsWhen visitors can come and when a resident can stay out.
Each home writes its own rules, so read them before you agree to them. Testing is explained in drug testing in sober living, and you can see how NJ Sober Living sets its house rules.
What is a day like in NJ Sober Living's homes?
In NJ Sober Living's homes in Waldwick, Old Tappan and Closter, mornings start on the house schedule and days go to work, school or treatment. Residents in outpatient treatment attend an outside licensed program on the schedule it sets, and the house van drives them to evening sessions and back.
Other evenings are spent at the house under a curfew, with an operator in the house overnight, plus house management and behavioral health technicians. Periodic drug testing is part of living there, and house expectations are confirmed before move-in. See how it works at NJ Sober Living.
- MorningUp on the house schedule
- DaytimeWork, school or other commitments
- EveningEvening outpatient on treatment nights, with a ride there and backAt the house with housemates
- NightBack at the house for curfew, operator on site overnightCurfew, operator on site overnight
Questions about daily life in sober living
Not always, but most homes expect the day to be used. Many sober living homes ask residents to work, go to school, look for work or attend treatment during the day, and each house sets its own expectation. At NJ Sober Living, residents must be working, in school or in treatment, or begin one within 30 days of moving in. Residents in treatment keep the schedule their outside program sets, and the house drives them to evening sessions.
Yes. The daytime is the resident's own, within house expectations, for work, school, appointments, errands or a meeting. New Jersey's rule for cooperative sober living residences says a house curfew can't prevent reasonable activities, including visits or errands (N.J.A.C. 5:27-13.2).
Each house sets its own time and writes it into the house rules. New Jersey's rule lets a cooperative sober living residence set a reasonable curfew that doesn't apply while a resident is at a recovery- or employment-related activity, such as a late shift or an evening meeting (N.J.A.C. 5:27-13.2). In NJ Sober Living's homes, residents are in their bedrooms by 11:00 p.m. on weeknights and by midnight on weekends.
They're usually looser on time but not on rules. Without work or treatment, residents fill the day with errands, exercise, meetings and time with family, and chores and a house meeting often land on the weekend. Curfew and any rules on overnight stays still apply, so ask the house how it handles a night away.
It depends on the home. New Jersey's definition of a cooperative sober living residence lets the home require or encourage residents to attend self-help recovery programs or off-site services (N.J.A.C. 5:27-2.1). Some homes set a weekly number of meetings and others leave it to the resident, so ask before you move in.
Usually, at times the house sets. Visiting hours, where guests can be in the house and whether anyone may stay overnight are part of each home's rules. New Jersey's curfew rule names visits among the reasonable activities a curfew can't prevent (N.J.A.C. 5:27-13.2). Ask the house for its guest rules before move-in.
In some homes it does. Some homes work in phases, with more freedom as a resident shows steady recovery, and others keep one set of rules for everyone for the whole stay. Ask how the rules change over time, and read how long to stay in sober living for what the research says about length of stay.
Sources
- N.J.A.C. 5:27-2.1, Definitions: cooperative sober living residences, as amended at 57 N.J.R. 13(b), effective January 6, 2025. Cornell LII
- N.J.A.C. 5:27-13.2, House rules (Class F cooperative sober living residences), adopted at 57 N.J.R. 13(b), effective January 6, 2025. Cornell LII
- N.J.A.C. 5:27-3.2, House rules. Cornell LII
- McCarty D, Braude L, Lyman DR, Dougherty RH, Daniels AS, Ghose SS, Delphin-Rittmon ME (2014). Substance abuse intensive outpatient programs: assessing the evidence. Psychiatric Services 65(6):718–726. PMC4152944
This guide describes daily life in recovery housing in general, and New Jersey's rules as general information. It is not legal or medical advice.
Ask what a day looks like in our homes
Call and we'll walk you through a weekday and a treatment night in one of our four recovery homes.
- Four recovery homes in Waldwick, Old Tappan and Closter
- Class F licensed by NJ DCA; overnight operator, 7 p.m.–7 a.m.
- Rides to evening treatment
- House expectations confirmed before move-in